Sunday, November 18, 2012

A Friend In Need Is A Friend Indeed?

We need friends but do we need friends when one does not see him or her in any occasion one can remember, have never bothered to catch up or not even a hello call but when he or she is in desperate need, you are suddenly remembered for obvious reason - a loan. 

I have this very old friend whom I know since I was 15-year-old and I am 50 now, we actually know each other for 35 years.  I will call him D.  Though we have known each other for so many years but we have never been close.  Many years ago, among some old friends, we chipped in to set up a small eatery business to be solely managed by D whom we have trusted based on our old friendship.  When business was not profitable, D simply dropped everything and walked out leaving us to handle the mess he left behind.  When the business finally folded up, we moved on. 

When another old friend's wife was suffering from cancer, we paid her a visit, gave her encouragements and when she finally passed on, we were at the wake for our old friend.  D was aware throughout but he did not make any visit and was never at the wake after her passing, not even a condolence message from him.  From that moment onwards, I have already disconnected my friendship with D.  I was in a desperate situation before and I realised when one is down, support from friends is very important.  I don't need such friend and he is certainly no friend.

It has been some 5 years since the passing of my friend's wife and one morning, I received an unfamiliar number on my mobile.  It was D.  I can immediately recognise his voice but this time, he sounded desperate.  Without asking my well being, he went straight to the point.  He was seeking for a S$2,000 loan from me citing he has lost his job since beginning of the year and he is now in desperate need.  This man, a single man and have been holding a decent managerial job though he is known to be a job hopper and out of the blue, he was seeking for a loan from any friend whom he can get hold on.  He is not known to be a gambler too or perhaps he is now, with 2 IRs in our backyard. 

I told myself I must be one biggest idiot if I really lend him the money.  I declined to offer my help to him and I was polite to him throughout the conversation even though I was supposed to be angry at him.  Later, I found out he had been calling and sending SMSes to some friends but to my understanding, none offered any help.  I guess he has to help himself first.  I know I am devoid of compassion but he is not worth my help at all.          

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